


Remember Me

by Dicey101



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Durincest, Fiki, Love, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 02:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dicey101/pseuds/Dicey101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili loses his memory and Fili struggles with trying to help him get it back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all like it! :)

Kili let out a laugh as he ran through the forest. “Fili, you are so slow!” he stopped and watched as Fili caught up, panting and cursing. Kili laughed again and pulled Fili into him. He wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck, “I love you,” he said happily.  Kili leaned in to place a kiss on the other’s lips.  
“Why are you in such a good mood?” Fili asked his brother when they broke their kiss.  
“Because.” Kili smirked, and pulled his brother’s arm, tugging him toward the reason they had came to the forest in the first place.  
They walked for a few more minutes, Kili ahead, until they reached a break in the trees. Kili turned around to look at Fili, “close your eyes.” Kili said softly, Fili did, and shortly felt hands cover his eyes. “I’m not looking!” Fili assured.  “I don’t care.”   They walked forward, Kili guiding his brother, hands still over his eyes.  
They stopped walking after a few seconds and Fili felt Kili slip away.  
“Okay... open.”  
Fili opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.  
Kili was standing on a cliff, wind catching in his long brown hair, smiling wide, the sun shining radiantly behind him.  
Fili breath caught in his throat, this was truly a sight to behold.  
“What do you think?” Kili asked, arms wide, signaling to the cliff and the sunset.  
“Stunning..” Fili whispered, not taking his eyes off of his brother.  
Fili walked forward and kissed Kili with his whole being, and everything was perfect... for a few moments.  
One of Fili’s clasps from his braids fell to the ground and rolled off of the cliff. “Oh,” Kili said, breaking off their embrace, “I’ll get it.”  
He proceeded to climb off the cliff and onto a sub-cliff below. It was a far way down; Fili stopped him.  
“No, Kili, I have plenty at home, I don’t want you getting hurt.”  
Kili flashed that gorgeous smile and he was gone, descending down the cliff side.  
That was Kili. Always doing things that he really shouldn’t be. And getting himself in to trouble, can’t forget about the trouble.  
But that was Kili, and Fili would have him no other way.  
“Hmmppff.”  
“Kili, are you alright?”  
“Shh, I’m concentrating.”  Fili bit his fist and kept quite.  
He knew his brother would be fine, kept assuring himself he would be.  
Fili walked away slightly, unable to watch. A few seconds later he heard his brother shout his name, utter terror filling his voice.  
When Fili ran to the cliff-side to help Kili, it was too late. His brother lay on the rock below, eyes closed and blood pooling around his head. 

*****

Everything after that was a blur for Fili. He ran as fast as he could to get help, he remembers cradling he brother’s head, getting blood everywhere.  
Blood... there was so much blood.  
When Thorin, a few doctors, and some strong men from town had managed to make sure Kili was safe, Fili finally let himself slip away, into the darkness;  
unsure if Kili was alive or not. 

******

When Fili awoke, he noticed he was in his Uncle’s house. He just stared at the ceiling for a minute or two, before everything came flooding back to him.  
He was about to dash out of bed to find Kili when strong hands pushed him back down.  
“You must rest, nephew.” Thorin said, sitting down in a chair by the bed.  
“I have rested enough, I need to see Kili.” Again, Fili attempted to get up, and Thorin eased him back down. “I’m afraid you can’t do that.”  
Now Fili was getting mad, “why not?” He asked angrily, sitting up and resting against the headboard.  
“Because...” Thorin started, and Fili noticed something of grief passed through his Uncle’s eyes; Fili’s heart sank, he couldn’t breathe.  
“Is... is he...?” Was all he could manage.  
“No, Kili is not dead..”  
“Then why can I not see him?” Fili said through gritted teeth.  
Thorin sighed, head going to rest in his hands, “because he doesn’t remember you.”

******

Fili was sure his heart had stopped beating. His hand went up to clutch his chest as he tried to regulate his breathing.  
“He doesn’t remember any of us...” Thorin added sadly.  
“What about mother? And father?”  
“Vaguely.”  
“Oh god.. oh god, is he...?” Fili stammered, motioning to his head.  
Thorin made a confused face, but quickly realized what his nephew meant.  
“Surprisingly enough, no, there was no damage to his knowledge of tools, smithing, anything like that,” Thorin stated, “and his education still seems to be in tact... it seems like all that was damaged was the part of his brain where we all were.”  
Fili nods, because it is all that he can do.  
He thinks for a moment, about everything; about how long it took for them to realize they were each other’s ones, that they were meant to be lovers, not brothers.  Fili thinks about how long it took for them to stop using the word “brother”. He thinks about those sweet, tender kisses that he seemed to live for.  He thought about every moment. Every embrace, every touch, every glance, every smile. All his, all those things were just for him.  
And now they were all gone; torn from him, but worst of all, torn from Kili... and he couldn’t help but think it was all his fault.  
Fili burst into tears, sobs racking his whole body. Thorin tried to comfort him, but to no avail.  
After a good five minutes, Fili had calmed down.  
“I want to see him.”

****

Fili’s mind screamed at him as he walked down the hall with his Uncle. This hall had never seemed so long.  
Fili’s thoughts kept giving him too much hope, or too little.  
But one thing never left his mind: “Kili is my one. And I am his. Surely he will know. Surely he will feel it.”  
They reached the door to the room Kili was in. By now Fili’s heart-rate was probably in the thousands.  Before they could step in the room, Dis came out. “Fili,” she said lovingly, and took her son into her arms. “How are you feeling?”  
Fili tried to smile, he really did, but it faltered. Dis smiled sadly. “I know,” she said, “I know.”  
She hugged her son again. When she pulled away she looked upset, and Fili braced himself for more bad news.  
“We’ve decided we aren’t going to tell him that you two are brothers.” Dis said, and Fili didn’t know if he liked that idea or not, but he nodded anyway.  
“Can I see him now?”  
Dis nodded and moved down the hall with Thorin.  
Fili tried to push past all the fear and doubt in his mind as he opened the door and walked in.  Kili was sitting up in a beautiful, comfortable looking bed, no doubt Thorin’s. He had a big bandage wrapped around his head, hair falling from underneath it.  
He looked up from the book he was reading when he heard someone enter.  
He didn’t say anything at first, neither did Fili. They just looked at each other. Fili let hope spring inside of him and he smiled.  
Kili beamed at him, “and who are you?” 

*****

Fili’s grin fell, and he tried to speak, but couldn’t form words. Instead he moved forward slightly.  
“Have a seat,” Kili said, and pointed to the comfy armchair pushed beside the bed.  
Fili quickly sat down.  
“What’s your name?” Kili asked pleasantly.  “F-Fili,” Fili stammered.  Kili read his face and instantly felt sad. He knew that this person, this broken person in front of him had been very close to him.  
“Why are our names so alike?” Kili asked, all seriousness now.  
“Just a coincidence I guess..” Fili answered in a small voice.  
“And were we..” Kili starts, trails off.  
“Close?” Fili finished for him, just a tiny bit of anger in his voice.  
Kili hears it, and he answers the question for himself, but Fili answers anyway.  
“Yes, we were very close.” 

*****

Kili is bed-ridden for a few more weeks, but Fili visits him everyday.  
Kili of course takes a liking to the other dwarf. He enjoys when he visits, because they laugh and talk, and sing, and Kili just feels right around Fili; and he wishes with all of his being that he could remember him. 

*****

Fili is in pain everyday. He hopes and hopes that Kili feels something. Hopes and prays that Kili remembers him, even if it is the tiniest memory; but that doesn’t happen.  
Fili is saddened beyond repair, but Kili likes him, and he takes all of his remaining happiness from that thought alone. 

*****

When Kili was allowed to go outside for short walks, Fili volunteered to take him, and they would go and walk around the village for a few minutes until Kili felt faint.  
After time, Kili could go quite a while without feeling dizzy, so they started to walk further.  
After four months, Dis and Thorin let the two young dwarves go hunting together.  
Even though Fili missed kissing Kili, and making love to him, he was still happy that he was here; alive and well.  
They became great friends, and were inseparable, as they always had been. 

*****

“Mother, I think I’m going to tell him...” Fili blurted out one day as they were washing up after supper.  
Dis placed down the dish she was drying and turned to her son, “tell him what, exactly?”  
“That.. that we’re brothers.”  
“Fili? Are you crazy?”  
“No...”  
“It will break his heart! Knowing that he has a brother and can’t remember him!”  
Fili stormed out of the room, leaving his mother to clean the rest of the dinner mess herself. 

*****

Kili entered Fili’s room later that evening. “Fili, have you been in here all night?” Kili asked as he sat down across from the other.  
“Yes.” Fili replied, not looking at Kili.  
“We were supposed to go hunting.”  
“Sorry..”  
“Will you tell me what’s bothering you?”  
Fili looked up at the dwarf he loved more than anything in the world, letting all the pain and heart-ache show clear on his face.  
That look Fili was giving him made Kili’s eyes widen and his heart race.  
“Want to know something?” Fili spit, and Kili cringed at the anger filling his friend’s voice.  
“Fi-”  
“We’re brothers, Kili.”  
Fili looked at Kili, but Kili just laughed. “You’re... you must be joking.”  
Fili sighed and pulled up his sleeve, showing Kili the moon-shaped birthmark on his forearm, “you have one too.”  
Kili slowly pulled up his own sleeve, revealing an identical mark.  
“Runs in the family.” Fili said quietly when Kili didn’t stir.  
“I-I.. I need some air.”  
And with that, Kili was gone, bursting through the house until he was running out the front door and into the sunset.

*****

It didn’t take Fili long to realize he had made a mistake.  
He grabbed his vest and rushed out the door, heading towards the spot he knew Kili would be.  
Even though Kili couldn’t consciously remember much, he sub-consciously remembered a lot; like when he was angry or upset, he loved going to the river. It had always been like that.  
The river was always a place of comfort for the brothers, it was also the spot where they had admitted to being in love with each other, thus sharing their first kiss.  
Fili stopped running, he was halfway there, but he decided that Kili needed some time alone.  
He reached the river in 20 minutes, hearing the weeping immediately. He showed himself right away, so not to scare the other. Kili simply cried harder when he saw him.  
Fili dared move closer. “You’re my own brother,” Kili managed between sobs, “and I don’t even remember you..”  
“Shh, it’s okay,” Fili sat down beside Kili and put his arm around him, pulling him close. Kili instantly calmed down and rested his head on Fili’s shoulder.  
After a few minutes, Kili spoke again, “I love it here.”  
“I know, so do I.”  
“Why?”  
“A lot of great things happened here, Kili. A lot of great things.”

******

A year went by, and Kili’s dreams started to tell him many things.  
When he told Fili, Fili knew it was time to show him something.

*****

“There’s somewhere I want to take you.” Fili says as they walk towards the forest.  
Kili smiles in agreement, and Fili can’t help but think about how he wants nothing more than to claim those lips again, if only for a moment.  
They walk through the trees, leaves falling all around them, the sun making all the colours of fall pop out at them.  
Kili is breathless as he takes in the beauty of autumn. Before he even realizes he’s speaking, he says in a small voice “I wish I could remember you.”  
Fili turns his head to look at the other, a sad smile pulling at his lips. “I wish you could remember me too.”

****

They continue on their walk, talking occasionally. But the silence is comfortable, Kili doesn’t know how, but it just is.  
Everything with Fili is comfortable. Kili is about to speak again when Fili says: “We’re here. Close your eyes.” Kili grins and closes his eyes, he laughs nervously when Fili’s hands cover his closed eyes.  
“My eyes are closed!”  
“I know.”  
They walk forward onto the cliff, the sun is setting marvelously. Fili walks to the edge of the cliff, just as Kili had done what seemed like an eternity ago.  
“Open.”  
Kili opened his eyes and his smile instantly fell. “What’s wrong?” Fili asked.  
“I-I dreamt of this place...” Kili whispers and walks forward.  
“This is the place you brought me before you fell..” Fili says sadly.  
Kili walks past Fili and peers down to the sub-cliff. It’s still stained red. He flinches and quickly turns away.  
His hands move up to his head, searching for the spot where the doctors had stitched. Tears fill his eyes.  
“It was my fault you fell..” Fili admits.  
Kili looks at him and shakes his head. “No it wasn’t. It was mine. I was being impulsive.”  
“Yes, but..” Fili starts but then the realization of what the other just said sinks in.  
“Wait... you... how... how did you know that?” Fili asks, hope filling his heart.  
“I told you I dreamt of this place.”  
Fili falls to his knees, all the hope seeping out of him once more.  
Kili rushes to his side and quickly pulls a weeping Fili into his arms. “I’m never going to get you back.” Fili cries out.  
The pure heart break Kili hears in Fili’s voice makes him cry too. 

*****

A few hours later, the two dwarves are still tangled together on the cliff. They had stopped crying a while back, but they couldn’t find a reason to let go of each other, so they didn’t. They laid on the ground, staring up at the night sky. 

“Shouldn’t we be headed back now?” Kili asked, not entirely wanting an answer.  
“They know that I won’t let anything happen to you.. again.” Fili murmured.  
A few more minutes past before one of them spoke. “Can I... try something?” Fili asked.  
“What do you want to try?”  
“Something that might help you remember me.”  
“Oh.. okay.”  
Fili sat up as soon as Kili approved, and leaned over the younger dwarf. Kili’s eyes went large when he knew what Fili was about to do. Fili noticed and pulled back slightly, “I won’t do it if you don’t want me too..” Fili said and moved to get up.  
“Just kiss me,” Kili pulled the other back down and their lips crashed together. It was messy, and a bit awkward, but it was perfect.  
When they broke for air, Fili searched Kili’s eyes. “Kili?”  
Kili searched his brother’s eyes right back, want and need heavily evident in the blue beauty.  
“Fili...” Kili said, voice laced with lust, and Fili knew. He laughed, tears already falling, and Kili laughed too.  
“I’ve missed you.”  
“I know.”  
They remained on their cliff for the rest of the night, making up for all of the lost time.


End file.
